Divorce and the Holidays - Tip sheet

I don't want to write about surviving the holidays...I mean thriving sure beats surviving. So how do you thrive during the holidays, especially if you are divorced or going through turmoil or separation in your relationship?

 

  1. Find what you are thankful for- In meditation, we focus a lot on the breathe. Breathe is the essence of life. Amazement in the fact that you are a living breathing, worthy being - that is something to be thankful for. Maybe this year the holidays aren't what you expected, but that is the thing about expectations, they aren't reality. 
  2. Get out of yourself - Isolating furthers depression and confirms the belief that you are alone. Connecting with others, even though it is hard, reminds us of our humanity and the need for each other. Whether you are spending time with friends or other family, maybe even volunteering, take some time to give back and share the greatness of who you are with others. 
  3. Give back to yourself - Be kind to the most important person - YOU! Let go of your self criticism, judgement and anxiety. Embrace self care and respect. Whether you are nurturing yourself from the outside in (get a massage, get yourself a little gift, enjoy a favorite meal) or from the inside out (affirmations, mediation, therapy ((yes I just said therapy!)))
  4. Connect with the positive - You might have spent a lot of time focusing on what isn't working in your relationship. Find a positive person in your life let some of their energy rub off onto you. I have a phrase I like to use for this "Only Let the Good in." So find what is good around you and enjoy...and that which negative, destructive and hurtful - well, set some boundaries and protect your heart.
  5. Laugh - Find some humor in the change of expectation. It is truly funny how we think we really really want things to "be the way they used to be." But in reality, when you look at the "way things used to be" it wasn't all that great. Now you have an opportunity for levity and  to do things the way you want. A good belly laugh is great for your soul and for your brain!

 

Whatever things may come this holiday, I wish for you peace and joy. May you find acceptance of what is and hold hope for what is to come. Don't settle for survival - Thrive!