Independence in Relationships ROCKS!

3 Ways Independence Builds Awesome Relationships

In the spirit of Fourth of July coming up, our Independence Day, I wanted to talk to you about the importance of independence within a relationship.  Now, you're either not sure how independence within a relationship can be helpful, you're not quite sure.  Or, you just want to approve this message before it goes out to your partner.  Either way, I'm just so glad you're here because independence within a relationship helps to just create an overall awesome experience for you and your partner.  So, I'm going to give you three reasons and ways that independence can really help and maybe even save your relationship.  So, the first reason is that it keeps us interested.  So, if you want to reignite or just keep that spark alive within your relationship, you've got to keep your partner interested in you.  And the things that are important to you and things going on in your life.  So, it's important to have your own interests outside of your partner's interests as well as outside, say, of shared interests that the two of you have.  What this does is it gives you both new topics to just chat about, to connect on, to celebrate, to maybe even complain about together.  And the second reason is absence makes the heart grow fonder.  And, I know you're probably thinking, "Come on, Robyn, this is so cliche."  But, it's true.  Watch what happens when, say, you know, you go for a camping trip for the weekend with all your buddies.  Leave your phone at home.  Watch what happens when you're driving home and just pay attention to your thoughts.  What are you thinking about?  And then your--maybe go to Vegas for the weekend with your girlfriends.  Make it a point not to text him all weekend.  And then, take a look.  What's coming up as you're sitting at the airport thinking about getting home?  Thinking about your partner maybe?   Maybe that you've missed them all weekend?  Wondering what they're up to?  Research shows us that when we don't have interactions daily with our partner, we aren't there to see those annoying little habits, those fluctuations in mood.  We tend to only remember, or mostly remember, the positive things about them and miss them, which can then make for a pretty steamy reconnection once you get home.  And reason number three, a strong sense of self is damn sexy.  So, when men and women were surveyed and asked, "What are your most important traits that you want in a partner?",  confidence was one of the top three, for men and women.  So, as important as it is to know that you can depend on your partner for, say, emotional support or to help you with tasks that maybe you find challenging, it is equally as important for you and your partner to truly believe in your ability to take care of business when you need to on your own.  Confidence is sexy.  So, I want to hear from you.  Has this been helpful?  Do you have any other ways that confidence has improved your relationship or maybe even saved it?  Or, maybe you're struggling with it and you'd like some more help.  Reach out.  You can email me at Robyn@CounselingLagunaHills.com.  I'd love to hear from you.